im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
it hurts more in the daytime
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
