Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's just like the Real World with babies
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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