And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
