i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
