Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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