My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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