It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
