They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize