after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
