There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
