So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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