i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
