i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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