Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
