I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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