In the future we'll all be gay
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
