He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I could fuck to npr.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
