Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
