You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
