i just had sex bonerless
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I need to sanitize my soul.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
