i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
