Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Randomize
