I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
