Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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