there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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