only if we run a train.
done.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
