you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I smell stomach acid.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
