I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
