After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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