You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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