I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
