I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
