Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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