oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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