he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
