im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
