problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
