A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
