I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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