drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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