Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My cat gives me a boner
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
