But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
How's work?
Spinning.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
