after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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