Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
