Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
