you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
