i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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