I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
