I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
