so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
