At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
