Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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